July 2, 2012 § Leave a comment
I remember when we were stronger together. When we’d always be together and we were proud of the way we were different, the way we could have fun without compromising ourselves. I remember how every free moment we were spending time together, learning about the vast world that lay beyond the horizon, scheming of ways to preserve the adventure that we were living. I remember covering the weak-side of the field and that with our strengths combined, few could break through our ranks. I remember being accepted by your family and feeling as if I was their son. I remember foil wrapped, hot ham & cheese sandwiches on potato rolls, and not being able to get enough. I remember juice bags, Brittany Spears posters, jumping off the wall, and care-free living. I remember not knowing humor before you, and wondering how it could hurt so bad in my jaw and in my gut when I laughed so hard.
We were stronger together.
Before our friendship, I had never seen or known that sort of symbiosis. The only examples I had in my life were independent souls, striving to prove their strength apart from others. I had been bred with an “I’ll prove myself strong” attitude. Deep within me was this desire to show everyone that I could go it alone, that I could walk the lonely road and not shed a tear, and that I could create for myself a good life. People like us have no need for friends or family – or anyone for that matter.
I’m so sorry that when I left, I left you behind. I was on to new places to make new friends and have new adventures. When I left, you had to adjust to those same people that we had been so committed to not be like. I didn’t realize that when we were set apart, it was because WE were set apart… and when WE aren’t WE anymore, compromises happen. I compromised our friendship so that I could move on up in the world, and in doing so, left you with uneasy choices to make. I can’t blame you for compromising in the ways that you did. I told you how I felt about certain things, proudly thinking I was the one doing the right thing. Two people apart grow apart… and that’s what happened to us.
We were stronger together.
Now when I see you with your friends, I wonder, “are you stronger together?” They aren’t my type of people, however, they seem to have some qualities that I was unable to maintain. They seem to be loyal to you. They seem to love you and accept you. They seem to understand what makes a friendship happen.
I want you to know that I love you and I accept you. I want you to know that now, after all these years, I’m learning how to be a friend. I want you to know that often I wonder if someday, just maybe, we can be stronger together, again.